Signs You and Your Partner Are Ready to Have Kids
Are you and your partner ready to have kids? Here are some signs that you indeed may be.
- You love each other, get along well, and can resolve differences amicably. You both are committed to the permanence of your relationship.
- You both want to have kids . . . for good reasons (i.e., not pressure from would-be grandparents or social standing-based obligation).
- You have discussed parenting and the roles you each plan to play in raising kids, and you have formulated a plan that seems workable to both of you. (Note: this includes mutual buy-in to the lifestyle changes, including changes to work life, social life, etc., that come with having kids.)
- You have a strong social support system in place that can guide you through the highs and lows of pregnancy, birth, and child rearing. Ideally, at least a few of the members of your social support system are parents themselves and can give you been-there-done-that advice.
- You have quality childcare available for when you return to work, go on date nights, etc. (Note: quality childcare can include but should not depend solely upon extended family members.)
- You are both psychologically/behaviorally healthy enough to have kids. It’s not just that unhealthy behaviors CAN adversely affect your kids; it’s that unhealthy behaviors WILL adversely affect your kids. Of course, no one is 100% behaviorally healthy, but you both must assess your behavioral fitness to be parents.
- You are both physically healthy enough to have kids. When physically reproducing, this is especially important for moms, of course. For dads . . . and for moms when adopting . . . the focus needs to be on being healthy enough to have the stamina to keep up with the demands of raising kids.
- Your budget can support having kids. You don’t live paycheck-to-paycheck. You earn more than you spend each month and save that additional money in some prudent manner.
- You live in a kid-appropriate neighborhood (i.e., good schools, etc.).
- Every time you see a crying baby, you have an instinct to cuddle and comfort the child.
It bears noting that not all kids are born to parents who fit the descriptors above. However, most parents and parents-to-be want the best for their kids, and the descriptors above are that best.
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