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What to Do When the Kids that You Nanny for Start to Call You Mom

It’s a common occurrence.  It can be hurtful to parents and uncomfortable for all.  The kids you are nannying for call you mom.  How can you best handle it when this occurs?

This situation needs to be handled with grace and tender loving care.  It’s a sticky situation.  Your response will need to consider the feelings of the kids (not making them feel rejected) and the parents (not making them feel replaced).  What follows are some suggested responses.

  • “I’m not your mom. Your fabulous mom is at work and can’t wait to get home to cuddle you. I’m your nanny, and I can’t wait to cuddle you right now.”
  • “I’m not your mom: I’m your nanny. Would it be easier for you if you called me “Aunty Kara”?
  • (with humor) “Wow! When did I get promoted from nanny to mom? I’d be thrilled to be your mom, but your actual mom may not like the idea very much.”

Whatever your chosen response, ensure that you are validating the closeness of your relationship with the kids for whom you nanny while also validating the central role of parents in the lives of their kids.

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1 comment to What to Do When the Kids that You Nanny for Start to Call You Mom

  • Lina

    It’s a sticky situation and uncomfortable sometimes. In this situation, so you need to be thought through how to explain your child that you’re not their mom , but u are someone who helps the mother when she is not there. Than u can explain how they can call u ether name, Mis..or aunty than your name or ur nick name act….and then at that point you can gently laugh and keep that smile a few minutes to not be misunderstood and not be insulted in any case that they said something bad and you want to criticize them…
    Always you need to try to explain to them something with a normal tone of voice, you thought it was important for them to understand properly, and that there are no problems between you like a nanny and their biological parents of…This problem occurs frequently for children to call a nanny their mother ’cause (for example if they started take care of them from 4 months to continue to say 3-4 years and performed with them 8 hours a day, in that case it will be normal that something like that could happen, and if you are ask way’ it will because From the children’s corner watching you – as a nanny party you spending more time with them and their activities than she and it is normal that they are in some moments mechanically and unconsciously get wrong it – but you are the one like a nanny who has to correct them and walked to the proper understanding of depends how much normally you have your life experience to tell them some things what u have to in that moment. Do not make mistake u have to be proud of self ’cause they like u more than their own mom No u have to put point in something that they may get wrong – otherwise do not get surprises if your host mom get mad of you like a nanny if you don’t correct them This is generally how is it -but u have some mom who will say that is ok if they cal you -and they are kids and ha u know -and u have mom who will also say it is ok in point like “Yes us nanny is Like your real mom and mom will put smile and say if something happen to me God not she will take care still of you like I will …act this is all examples, but do not for got too that will only happen or u will here it if u are working longer for a family act…You just remember that u have to give them in some case and moment attention and good explanations us much us u can ..It is noting wrong if they call you, but u are there to give them best advice Yes >>Good Lock !!!!!!!

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