You may be hiring a nanny for the first time.  Maybe you’re even a first-time parent.  Bringing a nanny into your home can be a blessing to all involved, but, like all relationships, good communication and a shared understanding are essential.

Candi Wingate was recently interviewed by Pregnancy magazine on the subject of establishing good communication and a shared understanding between families and their new nannies.  She shares 5 tips on what nannies wish moms knew:

1. As soon as you leave, the kids will stop crying and start playing. It is heartbreaking to hear your children cry as they see you leaving for work each day. Your natural instinct is to rush to your children and comfort them. However, your children will be fine with their nanny once you are gone: your nanny will do a fine job of comforting your children and then diverting their energies to other activities such as recreation or education. As weeks go by, your children will learn that everything will be ok when you go to work, and your daily departure will no longer be viewed as heart-wrenching.

2. Nannies don’t mind cleaning up the house, but it’s discouraging when another mess is waiting for them when they report to work the next morning. Nannies are not housekeepers. It is reasonable to expect a nanny to clean up after the children, but it is not customary to expect nannies to be responsible for all housecleaning tasks.

3. If you’re going to be 30 minutes late, please call to let the nanny know. The nanny may have obligations outside of work. By letting her know that you are running late, you give her the opportunity to notify any people with whom she has subsequent appointments that she, in turn, will be running late. Alternately, you and she may be able to make other childcare arrangements for the half hour in which you are not yet home yet she needs to be elsewhere.

4. When the nanny goes above and beyond, a thank-you note or little perk is a nice touch. Nannies, like everyone else, need to feel that their good work does not go unnoticed.

5. Notify your nanny if you have a nanny cam. Most nannies won’t care, but they do (understandably) want to be informed. Some laws require you to notify nannies of the locations and circumstances in which they cannot expect privacy (for example, in the bathroom).

Most of the rules above can be summed up in the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  By placing yourself in your nanny’s shoes, and by expecting her to place herself in your shoes, good communication and a shared understanding are off to a good start.

You need to arrange childcare during the summer months when your children are not in school?  Options vary based on your budget and the ages of your children.  Listed below are the most common options in most communities.

*Hiring a summer babysitter or nanny through nationally respected sources such as Care4hire.com and Nannies4hire.com.  Childcare workers available through these sources can come to you with thorough background checks so you know you’re getting someone you can trust for your children.  Interviews are scheduled so that you meet the candidates before you make your selection.

*Hiring a college student on summer break.  College students can be recruited through your local college or through a parent network in your community.  You can also recruit from non-local colleges by offering the opportunity to spend the summer in a new and distant place.  For example, if you live in Boston, a Houston college student may jump at the chance to spend a summer in Boston.

*Enrolling your children in summer school, which may be available through their regular school, an alternative school, civic organizations, or churches/synagogues.

*Enrolling children in summer youth programs through your local museum, arts center, YMCA/YWCA, Boys and Girls Club, church or synagogue, library, city parks and recreations department, or other community organization. 

*Enrolling children in summer camp.  Summer camps may be provided by your church or synagogue, 4-H, YMCA/YWCA, or other community organization.

 *Enrolling children in daycare for the summer.  Daycare organizations range from faith-sponsored daycare to for-profit daycare.

*Arranging for childcare sharing arrangements within your parent network.  In such an arrangement, two or more households take turns attending to the children.   Usually, parents to take time off work during their turn, but their turn is brief as there are multiple other households taking turns as well.  Alternately, you can partner with parents who work shifts that are different from your own, so you would watch their children while they are at work at you are not, and vice versa.

*Securing the services of a retired or otherwise available friend or family member who may be eager to spend time with your children.

Most parents select some combination of these options.  Whatever you select, we at Care4Hire and Nannies4Hire wish you and your family a safe and happy summer.

You are planning a family vacation, but you and your spouse would like one romantic evening in your destination city.  Wouldn’t having your babysitter nearby come in handy then?  Additionally, by taking the babysitter on vacation with your family, you can potentially make the vacation more relaxing for the family. 

When planning to take your babysitter on vacation with you, it is essential that you establish shared expectations pre-departure.   Ensure that you and your babysitter have an understanding on the following subjects:

• 1. What the travel accommodations will be. Will the babysitter have her own guestroom or is the family renting a shared suite in which the babysitter has her own bedroom? If there will be a shared suite, will the babysitter have her own bathroom?
• 2. What accommodations will be made for privacy. If the babysitter has her own guestroom, privacy is achieved by having separate guestrooms for your family and your babysitter. If, however, there will be a shared suite, plans will need to be made on how to accommodate the privacy needs of everyone involved.
• 3. What schedule will be maintained for shared spaces, if any. For example, if your family and your babysitter will share a bathroom, you should have a shower schedule so that there isn’t a morning shower queue that delays the rest of the day’s activities. Often, a shower schedule will designate morning showers for half the family and evening showers for the other half of the family, with the babysitter designated at whichever time works best for her personal needs. Similar to a shower schedule, how much time in the shared bathroom is each person allowed? If the babysitter takes an hour and a half in the bathroom to shower, do her hair, and put on her make-up, is that acceptable? If not, what alternatives will you offer? A lighted make-up mirror for her own personal use? Or something else?
• 4. What the babysitter’s responsibilities will be. Will she have responsibility for the children at all times or will she be allowed personal time? Will she be virtually the primary caregiver for the children or will she be a mother’s helper? If she will be granted personal time to visit sites of interest to her (and not your family), what will the designated times for those activities be? What boundaries will be in place during those times? Which expenses will be paid by the family and which expenses are hers to bear. It is common for the family to pay for the babysitter’s transportation, lodging, and admission tickets to attractions that the family will visit. The family usually pays for the babysitter’s food, either in whole or up to a specified dollar limit per meal or snack. The babysitter is usually responsible for purchasing her own souvenirs and her admission tickets to attractions that she will visit apart from the family.
• 5. What compensation will be due to her for her services during the vacation. The average is $150 per day, based on the babysitter working eight hours each day. If you choose to pay her by the hour worked, you will need to ensure that you and your babysitter have a shared understanding on what constitutes hours worked. This can be tricky when the work involves vacation. To avoid conflict and confusion, be as clear as possible on the distinction between work time and non-work time before the vacation begins. For example, if inclement weather prevents your family from going on planned excursions for the day, and your family and your babysitter decide to lounge by the hotel’s indoor swimming pool for several hours instead, if the children play in the pool and you and the babysitter chat in the nearby hot tub, is that work time or non-work time?
• 6. When her compensation will be paid. Will she be paid in advance of the vacation so that she has spending money on the vacation? Will she be paid after the vacation so that you can pay her for work performed? Will you pay her throughout the vacation (i.e., daily pay or some other short pay interval)?
• 7. By what method she will be paid. If you pay her before or after vacation, you will likely pay her via check. However, if you pay her throughout the vacation, you are more likely to pay her using cash, which you will make note of for subsequent payroll recording when you return home.
• 8. What the wake times and bedtimes are expected to be, and whether family vacations are active adventures or leisurely breaks from the usual hectic pace of life.
• 9. What the appropriate attire will be for the various activities during the vacation. For example, if visiting a beach is on the itinerary, is it acceptable for the babysitter to wear a string bikini? Does acceptable casual attire for family vacations include a dead-head or heavy metal T-shirt?
• 10. What constitutes appropriate attire at breakfast and when lounging in the evening. Does your family dress for breakfast or is it acceptable to have in-room breakfast in your pajamas? Are casual clothes your family’s traditional evening lounging clothes or do you don pajamas when you lounge at homes (or in guestrooms) in the evenings? (Note: This is relevant only if there will be shared living space during the journey.)
• 11. To what degree it will be deemed acceptable for the babysitter to use her personal cellular telephone while on the vacation. Is it acceptable for her to receive personal calls, texts, and e-mails at all hours of the day and night? If you plan to restrict the personal use of her cellular telephone, what boundaries will you put in place? No personal use of the cellular telephone while she is watching the children? If you have a shared suite, no personal use of the cellular telephone after bedtime? Or some other restrictions? And what provisions, if any, do you want in place for babysitting-related use of her cellular telephone? For example, if she keeps her cellular telephone on while she and your family are at the zoo, you can call her if you become separated. Plans can thus be made to reconnect at a designated place and time. However, if her cellular telephone is on, she can then receive personal calls on her cellular telephone too. How do you wish to draw that boundary?
• 12. How to comply with local laws and customs (if your vacation takes you to a foreign destination). Your babysitter may need to acquire a passport. Will that be her expense or yours? You will need to check the employment laws of your destination. Some countries have laws about the minimum age of childcare workers and the maximum number of hours worked in a day, to name but a few of the possible employment laws you may need to know in your foreign destination. Once you have researched the employment laws of your destination, you will need to communicate those to your babysitter so that you and she can work together for compliance.
• 13. Who bears liability for illnesses and injuries that your babysitter may sustain while on your family vacation. If your babysitter needs stitches from an injury during the vacation, you will likely be responsible for that medical bill. The same is true if your babysitter becomes ill after being exposed to an illness from the local people of your destination. You will need to check the liability laws of your destination as well as the laws of your home state. You are also wise to check your insurance coverage of such incidents.
• 14. Who is responsible for immediate pre- and post-departure duties. Is the babysitter responsible for packing and unpacking the children’s luggage? Is she responsible for preparing snacks and materials to keep the children entertained while traveling (i.e., toys, hand-held video games, i-Pods, etc.)? Is she responsible for doing laundry before and/or after the vacation?

Pre-departure, you may want to give your babysitter a written statement of  your expectations on the preceding subjects:  such a document is typically signed and dated by you and your babysitter, with you retaining the original document and a signed copy being given to your babysitter.  This reduces the opportunity for misunderstandings.  Further, if you or your babysitter forgets one or more of the pre-departure understandings, any confusion can be quickly and easily cleared up while on vacation by simply referring back to the written statement of understanding. 

As always, communication is key to maintaining a solid relationship.  Clear, up-front communication before and during vacation lays the foundation for a wonderful journey for everyone.

Your nanny is planning to go to college when your youngest child no longer needs a nanny.  Should you help your nanny establish a college fund?  Some employer-families do so, but some do not.

Your nanny has tendered her resignation.  For all the years that she has worked in your family, she has always driven the car that you provided for her.  When she leaves your family, will you give her that car?  Some employer-families do, but some do not.

Your live-out nanny is getting married.  Will you hostess a bridal shower for her?

Your live-in nanny has just received a telephone call that her brother has been in an auto accident and is not expected to live.  Do you pay for a last-minute, round-trip airfare to get her home in time to say good-bye to her brother?

You found your nanny crying during nap time one day.  She said she’d never cry in front of your child as she didn’t want to cause distress, but during nap time, she just broke down.  She proceeds to tell you that she’s recently considered filing for bankruptcy.  She’s scared, sad, and feeling mired in debt.  Do you offer to help her by giving her a raise, offering to grant her a payroll advance (a loan), or paying off some or all of her debts on her behalf? 

How you choose to handle these and other difficult situations is reflective of how you view your nanny, your family’s relationship with her, and your available resources.  Is your nanny an employee or a member of the family?  Has she been with you a long time or only briefly?  Do you hold her in high or low regard?   Are you likely to lose her if you don’t help her?  Do you have the resources available to help your nanny?

There is seldom an objective “right” and “wrong” way to handle situations like those listed above.  You have to do what you are comfortable with . . . what feels right to you, given the unique set of circumstances you have at hand.  If your nanny is a treasured member of your family and you have the resources available to help her (available cash, the spare vehicle, etc.), then perhaps you may choose to help her with the tangible help posed above.  Even if you choose not to (or are unable to) help your nanny tangibly, you can offer her your emotional support and encouragement as she proceeds through the transition in her life (leaving your family, getting married, losing a sibling, filing for bankruptcy, etc.).   Or, you can choose to stay out of your nanny’s personal affairs entirely and offer her the resources available to her within the employment context, such as paid bereavement leave (in the event of the death of her brother).

U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama recently announced the inception of her “Let’s Move” campaign, which addresses the epidemic of childhood obesity in the United States.  According to the “Let’s Move” website, “Childhood obesity or excess weight threatens the healthy future of one third of American children.  …  Obesity rates tripled in the past 30 years, a trend that means, for the first time in our history, American children may face a shorter expected lifespan than their parents.” *

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “Obesity is the result of caloric imbalance (too few calories expended for the amount of calories consumed) and is mediated by genetic, behavioral, and environmental factors. Childhood obesity has both immediate and long-term health impacts:

• Obese youth are more likely to have risk factors for cardiovascular disease, such as high cholesterol or high blood pressure. In a population-based sample of 5- to 17-year-olds, 70% of obese youth had at least one risk factor for cardiovascular disease.
• Children and adolescents who are obese are at greater risk for bone and joint problems, sleep apnea, and social and psychological problems such as stigmatization and poor self-esteem.
• Obese youth are more likely than youth of normal weight to become overweight or obese adults, and therefore more at risk for associated adult health problems, including heart disease, type 2 diabetes, stroke, several types of cancer, and osteoarthritis.

Healthy lifestyle habits, including healthy eating and physical activity, can lower the risk of becoming obese and developing related diseases.”

Every parent wants their children to grow up healthy and happy, and parents expect that their children will enjoy a longer lifespan than the parents will have.  But these expectations may no longer be the reality in America today.  What can parents do?

As noted by the CDC, healthy lifestyle habits (“behavioral factors” shaped by “environmental factors”) hold the key.

Behavioral factors include the amount of exercise the children participate in on a regular basis, the quantity of food consumed, and the quality of food consumed (i.e., the consumption of fatty, sugary, and salty foods).   Parents are encouraged to ensure that their children get adequate daily exercise.  Exercise does not need to be drudgery.  Nature hikes, hide-and-go-seek, youth sports leagues, and other activities are fun ways to exercise.  Parents are also encouraged to ensure that their children consume smaller portions of food.  And parents should ensure that their children consume healthy foods such as fruits and vegetables (thus parents should restrict access to fatty, sugary, and salty foods).  Strawberries, baby carrots, apples, oranges, celery sticks, and string cheese all make excellent snacks.   

Environmental factors include all the environments to which children are exposed . . . environments that help shape how the children feel about exercise, food consumption, and body image.  These environments typically include the children’s homes, childcare settings, schools, and communities.  Parents have significant control over the home environment, so parents can lead by example (exercising and eating right themselves).  If parents learn that their children’s childcare settings, schools, or communities are not reinforcing the values of health and life, the parents are encouraged to step up and speak out, be a voice for change for their children

“Let’s Move” advocates for corrective measures on a variety of fronts.  In addition to parental refocusing, “Let’s Move” is seeking improved calorie labeling on food and soft drinks, better nutrition and exercise in schools, and increased access to low-cost, healthy food in poor areas.  Because the nation’s youth are at risk, all stakeholders (parents, childcare representatives, school representatives, and governmental representatives, to name a few) will need to band together to advocate for the health and well-being of tomorrow’s leaders.  But our children deserve no less.

* According to Nannies4hire.com and Care4hire.com, surveys of nannies and babysitters in 2009 and 2010 show that children who have nannies or babysitters fare far better than the national average for activity level, consumption of healthy quantities and qualities of foods, and weight ranges.  For example, in 2009, 7.7% of nannies and babysitters stated that the children in their care were “overweight by at least 10 lbs.”  In the same study conducted a year later, 10.2% of nannies and 10.5% of babysitters indicated that the children in their care were “overweight by at least 10 lbs.”  This compares to the national average of approximately 33% (as per the “Let’s Move” website).  Consequently, it would appear that having a nanny or babysitter as a resource for children is now proven to improve the lives and lifespans of those children

Let’s be honest:  of course you do.  Every parent, at one time or another, yells at their kids.  The issue isn’t whether you yell at your kids.  The issues are how often you yell at your kids, why you yell at your kids, what do you say when you’re yelling at your kids, and do you sincerely apologize after yelling at your kids.

Let’s take those first two issues together.  If you yell at your kids often and without pressing urgencies at hand, you are inadvertently teaching your kids that yelling is acceptable behavior.  Yelling should be reserved for rare, urgent situations:  for example, you and little Johnny are in the mall parking lot when, in the blink of an eye, he removes his hand from yours and bolts toward a stuffed animal left lying in the course of traffic.  It is appropriate to yell, “STOP, JOHNNY!”  Also, yelling may happen, hopefully rarely, when you momentarily lose your temper.  You’ve had a bad day at work, you come home stressed and tired, and Johnny spills cranberry juice on your new carpet.  It’s wrong to yell at Johnny for his mistake, as a calm redirection would be the appropriate response, but as we are all human and therefore imperfect, many parents in such a situation will yell, “JOHNNY!  HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE JUICE INTO THE LIVING ROOM?  THIS NEW CARPET WAS EXPENSIVE!”  When you yell, you should recognize what you have done (i.e., lost control of your temper), stop yourself before you make the situation worse, and apologize to Johnny for your behavior.  (Apologizing is discussed in greater detail below.)

What you say when you’re yelling at your kids is important as well.  Are you issuing urgent commands?  (”STOP, JOHNNY!”)  Or are you attacking Johnny’s character or intelligence or making him feel threatened?  (”HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU . . .”) (”THIS NEW CARPET WAS EXPENSIVE” - which could make Johnny feel like the carpet is more important to you than he is.)  Kids are sponges.  They absorb the information given them.  If you give them information that they are not ok, they will likely come to believe it. 

Similarly, if you give them information that anger and yelling are acceptable, they will yell and exhibit anger more often and without guilt.  Therefore, a sincere apology is essential when you have yelled at little Johnny.  Not only does that teach Johnny that yelling is not acceptable, he also learns that it’s healthy to apologize when you have wronged someone . . . and he learns that you value him enough to apologize to him.  When you are apologizing to Johnny, ensure that you communicate that his behavior (running into traffic or spilling juice on the carpet) remains unacceptable behavior on his part, but that his unacceptable behavior does not render your behavior acceptable.  

No matter what you choose to do, remember that little Johnny is watching you.  Lead by example.  You are raising the future of the world.  Exhibit and inspire love, calm, and patience.

Visit Nannies4hire.com for more useful tips…

The use of nanny cams (hidden cameras) is controversial.  Some people think nanny cams are a sound way for parents to keep tabs on their children and ensure that their nanny is handling their children in a manner that is consistent with parental expectations.  Other people think nanny cams are an invasion of privacy.  What are the facts of this situation?

The use of video-only (no audio) nanny cams is legal in all 50 states . . . if you tell your nanny that she has no right to expect privacy in your home (with the exception that she should be able to have privacy in her bedroom and bathroom in your home).  It is best to have your nanny, at the time of her hire, sign a statement that she acknowledges no right to privacy (except in her bedroom and bathroom) in your home.

Audio recording comes with greater legal risk.  In some states, hidden audio recording of your children and your nanny is not legal under any circumstances.

For those families that choose to use nanny cams, the dilemma becomes whether to tell the nanny where the nanny cams are located.  Nanny cams are frequently located in teddy bears, house plants, clocks, etc. throughout the house, but should the nanny know that she is being nanny cammed in the hallways (a nanny cam is in the hall clock) but not in the living room?  This is a decision that each family must make based on their own unique circumstances. 

The primary purpose for using nanny cams should be to keep tabs on the children.  Do you need to be away while little Johnny is having a play date?  Do you want to see if he had fun?  The nanny cam will enable you to see little Johnny and his buddy, and you may feel like you were actually there.  Knowing about your children and the events in their lives is very important. 

A secondary purpose for using nanny cams is to ensure that the nanny is handling the children in a manner that is consistent with parental expectations.  When the nanny is new to the family and trust is still being established, or if trust later becomes an issue in the relationship between family and nanny, nanny cams can be invaluable tools for establishing or maintaining trust in the nanny, for letting parents know when they need to clarify expectations with their nanny, or for establishing that trust is not supported by the facts.  Preventing needless discharges of nannies falsely suspicioned and supporting discharges for nannies who have been shown to be violating a family’s trust are significant advantages of nanny cams.  Keep in mind that the relationship between family and nanny is an employment relationship, despite the family-like feel to the relationship.  Trust between a family and their nanny is essential but earned.

In sum, the use of nanny cams offers both benefits and risks.  Only you can decide what is best for your family.  If you decide to use nanny cams, you should communicate your decision in a direct, tactful manner to your children and your nanny.  Focus on the primary purpose of nanny cams:  your desire to keep tabs on your children and see how they spend their days.  Honesty is the cornerstone of healthy relationships: so, if at some point you develop a concern about the trustworthiness of your nanny, you should visit with your nanny about your concerns.  Your nanny cams will then come in handy for their secondary purpose. 

Nanny cams are less expensive and easier to use than ever.  For many families, “better safe than sorry” is their motto.  By navigating the hazards referenced in this blog, families should be able to reap the benefits while minimizing their risks.

 *You should speak with an attorney in your state to ensure compliance with your state’s laws and to craft a no-right-to-privacy statement for your nanny to sign at the time of her hire.

According to The New York Times, a clear communication of expectations is important in the workplace . . . no matter where that workplace is.

Many working parents with nannies are supervisors at their jobs.  As supervisors, they know that they need to specify expectations for their employees . . . and when those expectations are not met, they know that they need to provide clear and consistent redirection (and progressive discipline, where appropriate).

However, for many parents, those workplace skills are difficult to apply when the workplace is their home.  The parents may not feel that they have the time to communicate “every last little detail” to the nanny.  They may feel guilt, intimidation, or jealousy for having the nanny care for their children: these emotions may provide a barrier to open communication between the parents and the nanny.  They may fear that the nanny may be upset by having her behavior redirected, and she may take it out on the children or she may resign.  Or, they may feel awkward about redirecting the behavior of someone that they feel is more a member of the family than an employee.

Nannies4hire.com advocates these tips in ensuring good communication between parents and nanny:

• Parents: During the nanny interviews, provide all candidates with a written job description so that it is clear from the outset what job duties are to be performed by the nanny.
• Parents: At the time of hire, provide the new nanny with an employment contract and a copy of the job description that she first viewed during her interview. Require that the new nanny signs both the employment contract and the job description as a condition of employment.
• Parents: Communicate expectations explicitly. Don’t expect facial expressions, body language, or other subtleties to create clear communication
• Parents: Provide details. For example, if you want the dishwasher loaded in a certain way, specify what that way is.
• Parents: If performing the job task is mandatory, don’t “soften” the directive by making it sound optional. For example, if you want your nanny to be responsible for the children’s laundry, don’t tell them to do it “if you have time”.
• Parents: Your nanny is your employee. You may love her as if she were a member of your family, but she is an employee and is deserving of the same courtesies that you show your employees in your workplace. Those courtesies include an adequate flow of information.
• Parents and Nanny: Communicate in writing where possible. For example, many families and nannies use a daily log book in which both parties record information (parental instructions and nanny observations) to keep each other apprised.
• Parents and Nanny: Meet once weekly at a designated day and time to review the past week’s activities and discuss the coming week’s activities. Children should not be present for these meetings. While any warranted redirection should be provided to the nanny as soon as the parents observe the behavior that elicits the redirection, weekly meetings are wonderful ways for both parties to follow up, ask questions, or share concerns.
• Nanny: If you are unclear about what is expected of you, ask. You may think that you will appear unintelligent or that you may annoy the parents, but your questions will likely be appreciated because they will prevent problems in the future.

By following these simple tips, parents and nannies can ensure that they are communicating well for the benefit of the children in their care.

When deciding whether to hire a nanny to care for their children, American families now have a new statistic to consider: how much time their children spend plugged into media.  Children with a nanny are less plugged into computers, iPods and video games than the national average. A recent study by the Kaiser Family Foundation reports average use of media by children ages 8-18 is about 7.5 hours a day.  Nannies4hire.com subsequently conducted a study with nannies and babysitters registered with the online database service. In a survey of 1,000 caregivers, children ages 8-18 are only spending 1.6 hours a day on computers, watching TV, listening to music on iPods or mp3 players, and playing video games.   Thus, children with nannies spend almost 6 hours less on a daily basis being glued to a computer, television, or gaming screen or otherwise engaged in solitary, sedentary techno-activity. 

And what do children with nannies do with this extra time?  On average, children with a nanny spend 3 hours a day playing outdoors.  This increase in physical and social activity pays tremendous dividends.  Solitary, sedentary lifestyles have been determined to be one of the major causes of the growing incidence of childhood obesity and social maladjustment.  Therefore, another benefit of having a nanny in the home involves the health of these children as well.

“The number one goal of a nanny is the health and happiness of the child they supervise. They are not paid to watch a child with video games; they are paid to contribute to emotional, intellectual and physical well-being of the children in their care,” states Candi Wingate, President of Nannies4hire.com.  “Nannies interact with the children in their care, taking them outside whenever possible and engaging their minds in much more than the mindless activity of watching TV or playing on the computer,” Wingate continues.

Nannies can benefit families in many ways.  These recent studies add even more reasons to hire nannies for young children.  After all, what’s more important that the health and well-being of your children?

When is it time to begin teaching manners to your child?  By what method should manners be taught?  In what order should manners be taught?  These and many other questions will be discussed in this blog.

The best way to teach manners is for the parents and others in the child’s environment to exhibit those manners consistently.  We each are, to some degree, a reflection of the behaviors that have been portrayed to us over our lifetimes.  So, it is best to start teaching your child manners from the moment of his birth.  He will not, from the moment of birth, have the capacity to understand, for example, that it is not appropriate to hit others, but his exposure to the no-hitting rule will gradually come to make sense to him.  To expose him to the rule after a period of time in which hitting was allowed will seem arbitrary and false to him.   In sum, from the time of your child’s birth, you should exhibit the manners that you wish to instill in him, and you should provide him age-appropriate information about the manners that you are instilling.

Determining what information is age-appropriate can be a judgment call.  Many experts believe that, from the moment of your child’s birth, you should be speaking to your child as if he has the capacity to understand simple concepts.  The logic behind the theory is similar to the logic used above:  your child will not, from the moment of birth, have the capacity to understand the simple concepts of the spoken word, but his exposure to the spoken word will gradually come to make sense to him.  Newborns exhibit no social missteps because of their limited interaction.  However, from the first moment that your little one grabs someone else’s toy or swats at the family dog, it is time to speak to your as-yet inarticulate child about what behavior is expected.  Your child may not quite grasp the words you are speaking, but he will understand your behaviors (your giving the toy back to its original owner, for example).  Ultimately, he will link the words you’ve spoken with your behaviors, and the meaning of your words will become more clear to him.  As your child’s social interaction develops, the opportunity for more social missteps increases.  So, a child may go from stealing a toy to failing to say thank-you to burping (intentionally) in his sister’s ear to poor sportsmanship on the soccer field.  What information is age-appropriate is, then, determine by the speed of your child’s development of social interaction.

Of all the information in this blog, the most important thing to remember when teaching your child manners is that, when there is a difference between what your child sees you do and what your child hears you say, he will usually exhibit your behaviors (despite that being in conflict with what you say is appropriate).  So, it is essential that you and your nanny or childcare provider exhibit the manners that you want your child to exhibit.